32Red Poker Blog

It’s a strange thing about tournament poker that I could look back on the weekend in London and feel slightly gutted. It’s easy to see that I had more good luck than bad. I finally broke the habit of losing races, and did so on day two in spectacular fashion, before my eventual exit at the hands of the crazy, friendly Italian.

Amidst all the crazy variance of tournament poker, there is only one guarantee; the occasion will throw your emotions around, and give you no moment to catch your breath. I still feel exhausted this morning from my few days in the capital, and yet it is not all the concentration of trying to read hands and opponents; it is simply the loss of adrenalin, last seen being thrown around the Vic.

For all the excitement of the surges up the rollercoaster, it is the sudden crash down that will always be more memorable, and will define one’s memories of the tournament. With nine players left on Sunday, I was at the summit, feeling thrilled to have average chips, a second shot at the final table, and a crazy Italian man ready to give his chips away. One moment later, he had hit a three outer, and I moved to the wrong side of the rail. I knew that is wasn’t unfair, I wasn’t sad or down; I was just gutted. More so than I ever have been.

Just sometimes, it can leave you asking the question “is all of this really worthwhile?” The answer is yes.

It’s too easy to see only the perspective that starts at the top of the rollercoaster. On seeing the whole view, you realise just how lucky you were to get to the top, and know that, for everyone but one lucky passenger, the final crash was inevitable. Disappointment is not an easy emotion to release, but once you know you should expect it, it’s an easy one to contain. The great excitement of the poker ride is the bizarre dual challenge that it brings. You try so hard to get every decision right, but know that the most important skill, in the short term at least, is to fall on the right side of those emotional moments of luck.

Poker can seem quite a shallow game sometimes, but it’s the disappointments that can be character building. In fact, the disappointment of this year’s standard exit hand is not as stark as last year’s mistake, but both are emotions that I know it is important to experience honestly, and then to leave behind.

I’m writing on the plane to Prague, wondering what end the year’s last EPT will bring for me. Wherever I finish, the journey will be a lot of fun, and will be on my favorite destination on the EPT. Prague is an amazing city that will be white with snow, and is the tour’s perfect Christmas stop.

Disappointment and excitement will come and will go. The only thought that remains with me constantly is what a bizarre and ridiculously lucky thing it is to have these travels as part of life. If there are some cruel moments heart-dropping moments along the way, maybe it is just a tiny payback.